The Quest to Achieve the Freshman -15 Begins NOW!

“I want to be able to recognize you when we visit in October,” my mom said to me, just a few days before leaving for college. When I told some friends about this, they said how hilarious my mom is (shoutout to Dana C). Too bad she wasn’t joking.

These words continue to haunt me. She meant that she hopes I won’t eat everything in sight, making way for a Freshman 15 (or 30, I can go pretty crazy). This made me sad, because it would be a disappointing first reunion since dropping me off if my parents screamed when they saw me or hugged some other girl who vaguely resembled me before Free Fast Food Friday and Ice Cream Socials stretched and hideously contorted my features so that I’d look like the freaky giant baby from Spirited Away:


I really don’t want that to happen. Partly because I can’t pull of the whole being bald and fat combination (it’s only cute on babies) and also because it would be pretty unfulfilling and sad (I mean, look at that baby. It’s clearly crying for help). So, with my mom’s words in mind, and the ominous thought of the “FRESHMAN 15” floating around in my head, I have resolved to lose a Freshman 15 instead of gain one. The Freshman -15, if you will (I exercised today so I am tired and not feeling very creative right now, okay?!).

How’s that going for me, you ask? Well, in the 14 days that I have been in college, I have only once (not including today) and I’ve played basketball twice. But I’ve also walked more this month than I ever have (not saying much, but I’m trying here). An iPhone App (so it’s clearly reliable and 100% right… right?) says that  for September, I’ve walked an average 3.05 miles a day (this is funny because I actually didn’t go outside once yesterday). I clearly have to get more serious about working out. I also know those are only words. But today was a good first step. I ran (and, I will admit, walked a BIT) five miles in Central Park in the afternoon. Am I slow? As molasses. Do I look good when I run? Parents frantically cover their children’s eyes when I trot by. But I did it, and that’s what counts.


I really miss playing team sports. In field hockey practices, I could run three miles without noticing and have a blast doing it. But the past is the past, and I learned from our school’s president (an AMAZING orator), “you can’t live a half life.” I can’t have one foot still in high school and the other one here. I need to dive all in to college. It won’t be the same, but that’s kind of the best part. It’s scary, for everything to be new and unfamiliar, but it’s also exciting… Almost as exciting as the thought of waking up early before my 8:30 class to exercise (I’m easing into the whole getting back into shape thing so I think the early morning stuff probably will have to wait). I ate a salad today though, so I guess that’s something.

That picture of the fat baby is actually terrifying and really motivating… I think I’ve found my new lock screen!! fullsizerender-3


P.S. This may be TMI but I just found a bruise on my bottom and I’m worried that someone may be pinching my rear while I’m asleep, or throwing rocks at my backside when I’m not paying attention. I am genuinely perplexed and I invite you to take a gander at why this may have appeared because I would really love an answer.

P.P.S. My mom is probably so embarrassed that I just said that^ Don’t worry, Mom, I’m only embarrassing myself, and I’m used to it!!!

P.P.S. The other day I was in the vicinity of Tom Hanks. No, I did not see him, but he was there and that’s what makes it almost exciting.

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