I’m annoyed because my body is betraying me.
The logical part of my mind reassures me, rationally, that “you’re FINE, dumbo. You’ve been wanting to do this for years! You’ve been looking forward to this. And it is gonna be good and worth it, for better or for worse.” And yet the face looking back at me in the mirror is tear-stained and creased from overthinking.
Also somehow, somewhere in between watching two movies with my parents and shoving a sizable piece of my mom’s homemade chocolate cake (the best you’ll ever have) into my mouth, I seem to have acquired a cut on my cheek and I’m worried it’ll scare off potential friends.
It’s the night before I leave to study abroad and my brain and body are rebelling. These past few nights it’s been tough to sleep. Last night I dreamt that I forgot all of my money, got on the plane, then was late to my first day of class because I couldn’t find the room. It was kinda scary and all stuff that could maybe happen… but so what if it does?
Whether my luggage disappears as I’m en route to my final destination, or I’m lost in a city I don’t know with no cell service or family members to fall back on, or even if a kangaroo cracks my leg in two, I’m gonna be fine (well, maybe not for a while if the kangaroo thing happens, but you know, I’d heal eventually).
Studying abroad is nerve wracking but also a thrilling opportunity that’s swelling with openness and possibility. So even though I don’t know what’s gonna happen, or how I’ll survive 24 hours in a plane without getting major jet lag, or fend off potential kangaroo assailants, I do know that it’s all gonna be worth it. And I’m excited. And also fully willing to submit to the kangaroo if on some off chance it does want to fight me.
Thanks for the opportunity, mom and dad, and to family and friends for your support. Australia, here I come!